First you would need to review your divorce papers. If your divorce decree allowed for the modification of any provisions of your divorce agreement, then you would need to return to the court that issued the original order (Oregon) and request a hearing (called an order to show cause) as to why the retirement plan should be removed. In general if your divorce decree says that the order is non-modifiable, then you will not be able to request modification. If it allows for modification, you would need to present proof on how financially your economica has changed so that paying this is hardship.
If you know that she will be objecting to this, then an attorney is strongly recommended.
It is very rare that you will find court documents for this as relinquishment of parental rights and stepparent adoptions are very personal in nature. You would need an attorney to get this done. The father would first have to sign off an an affidavit of relinquishing rights and then you would need to petition the court for approval for a stepparent adoption. If you have not already done so, you may be able to get the assistance of your Department of Family services for further guidance otherwise you may be able to get assistance from your local law librarian on how to go about the process of drafting these motions.
Not sure why the attorney would say there are forms to file when you did not find any at court.
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